What teenagers wish their parents should know

 Teenagers are young individuals experiencing growth, they are practically moving from one stage to another. A parent should therefore understand that every child is unique in their on way and they can never be the same. One thing that kills a teens confidence and trust is when a parent tries to change her/his teenager to become someone else, they at times need space of growth. Just like a parent needs space to think, to breathe to have that moment where your opinions are listened to and understood, there is no difference with the teenagers.

They are growing and coming in contact with the world, meeting new people ,learning to speak for themselves, they no longer just sit around and wait for someone to come and defend them, they learn to defend themselves. Additionally teenagers are growing both physically, mentally and emotionally. They are becoming more emotional and intentional without proper guidance they explode from the inside and the outcome is externally extremely out of control.

Before we complain and give up, as parents we need to first figure out if we actually understand what our teens wish we knew and through that we can find an easy way to walk into their lives with love ,care, understanding to guide them to be better adults.

The following are some the things they wish we knew:

They want to be treated with respect ; teenagers at times feel like their parents treat them like children rather than a young adult .They wish their parents could acknowledge that they are capable of making their own decision, most teens wish their parents could understand that every child is different and they want you to recognize their unique nature with their own interest and aspirations, before you can advice an guide them you have to show and make them feel that you truly recognize their individuality, this hits them differently.

Creating space where there is open and non-judgemental communication. One think that I can testify that teens hate is judgemental communication ,they desire to be understood without being judged , they want to discuss what they feel , their thoughts and challenges even if they differ with what their parents view ,creating that open environment communication helps a parent bond and understand his or her teenager.

They want you support their personal interest, they wish the parents understood that they have different personal interest. Some are footballers, some musicians, some dancers, some artists, some comedians and some writers all these are great talents that need to be nurtured because the world we are living is more of the value we add and not qualifications, some can use their talents to add value in the society differently and uniquely, as parents all they want us to do is to support and encourage them . Personal interests and happiness can help them develop a sense of identity and self -confidence which right now it is robbed from them.

Additionally, they also need emotional support, here is where a lot of problems come in and the fear of addressing this has led to many teenagers figuring a way to hide how they feel if they are unable to let it out, and drug abuse becomes one of the ways. We all value emotional support and we all need it but teenagers need it the most, they are in that place of understanding who they are, different changes occurring emotionally, psychically and mentally and they need guidance and support ,someone to talk to them and be understood . All a child knows is their parents and a teenager wants that environment to communicate her emotions without feeling judged but loved, when a parent shows empathy when they face difficulties or stress this brings them close to home.

They also need you to understand social pressure, with todays technology teenagers are tying to navigate through complex social change and peer pressure , they desire their parents to understand what they are going through, the challenges they are facing , hoping for guidance and support into making right and responsible choices and building healthy relationships.

Finally they feel pressured to perform, they are often pressured to succeed in academics, in morals, socially, sports and any other areas, they are pressured to be the best and they wish their parents could just acknowledge the effort and support them other than pushing them to be perfect. perfectionism can never be attained because everyone has a different definition of perfection.

In conclusion a teenager wishes that parents could understand, support and respect their thoughts and feelings. They also want their parents to recognize that they are growing and changing they need their own space and independency to figure out who they are with right guidance and support.